Guest Blog: Devin (Sunday AM in the life of a “single mom”)

Even though I went to a church I have never been to, I have a little advantage because I have been in church my whole life. As I drove up the church had signs telling preschool moms where to park which helped alot. It’s not a lot of fun to park on one side of the building and have to walk through crowded hallways with two young kids.

When I walked in I didn’t know where to go so I stood around so that someone would tell me where to check in. I never received instructions so I found someone sitting behind a desk and asked if that was where I check the kids in at? They were very friendly and checked the girls in and walked them to class. I then went to the main service and grabbed a seat on the side, later to find out I was sitting in the student section. It was weird. I was greeted by 2 middle school boys and one man sitting on the row behind me. I sat alone and felt awkward and out of place. It is not that anyone was mean, it’s just strange sitting by yourself.

I was surprised at how uncomfortable I felt. I could not imagine how a single woman, or an unchurched single mom would feel having to endure that every week. She would have had no clue what was going on and would have probably been thinking “why am I here?”.

I think it would have been good for someone to come and sit with me. It would have been awkward at first but I would have been more likely to come back if I had made some sort of connection. On the other hand, I think the girls had a good time in the children’s ministry but even they were uncomfortable at first because they didn’t know anyone.

The Feel of the Worship Experience:
I kept wondering whether people really wanted to be there or if they just there because they felt like they had to be? The people around me seemed so bored and disengaged. Do they get excited when the pastor says the closing prayer, because it’s time to leave? I just don’t know if an unchurched person would have connected. This church was made up of good people with good intentions, I’m just not sure what was truly accomplished. I think when people imagine church they imagine the church I was at this morning. That isn’t necessarily bad, I’m just not sure it is effective for reaching people that are disconnected from God and the church.

What I learned:
We have got to go out of our way to make people feel welcome and connect with people who walk through the doors. Our first words to them could influence their whole experience. We really only get one chance to make a first impression. We need to greet people and not just say hello. Sit with people who are sitting alone. I learned how important it is to truly connect with people, because no one truly connected with me. I think we have got one chance to change peoples minds about church. They will either walk out saying “what a waste of time” or they will walk out saying “that was church? That was NOT what I was expecting.”